Cat Brooches, Idiots and Bow ties
by Sharpie The Derp
Summary: The 10th Doctor and the 6th Doctor get in a fight, and someone pops in with their opinion. A bit slashy but not intended that way. No plot what so ever. Definitely AU! No companions and a few other multi-Doctor arguments as well. I will add more.
1. Chapter 1

Hello! I'm still figuring this out, so if I get something wrong please tell me.

Sooo, this is my first fan fic :) I hope you like it! This is just an idea that popped into my head, no real plot and a bit slashy. I do like the 6th doctor, he is one of my favorites I don't like the 10th doctor though. He's a bit too human. I'm sorry if I didn't get the characters right :(

I don't own Doctor Who! Otherwise 9, 6, 7 (and Ace) would have 10's series :)

- (the 10th Doctor and 6th Doctor are arguing) -

"and cat brooches. Cats. I HATE cats."

The 10th incarnation of the Doctor informed his 6th self.

"well, if that's all you don't like about me I'd like to point out exactly what I think of letting your companion too close to you!"

"just because you fought with Peri and Mel made you drink carrot juice all the time doesn't give you any excuse to comment on me and Rose!"

"ah" 6 said smugly. "so there IS something between you and your companion."

"NO! No no no no no, there is nothing between me and Rose, we're just very good friends!" 10 protested guiltily, because his younger self had picked up on their relationship so quickly."anyway, I haven't even started on your fashion sense yet! You look like some child gotta hold of some paint and decided to throw it at you!"

6 shrugged and said ""better than wearing a vegetable, being 'sweet' and playing cricket any day."

"oi! I happen to like that version of me!" 10 growled.

-me again! It's not finished yet, and I'll have the rest up soon, promise (next week probably) :) please review!-


	2. Chapter 2

-hiya! I had just finished when I managed to accidentally delete it :( clever me. I hope you like it!-

-6-6-6-6-6-6-6-6-6

"What is it with you and licking things?! Why is it I managed to regenerate into yet another complete idiot who needs to be saved by someone who can come up with an actually comprehensible plan?!" 6 retaliated.

10 had just opened his mouth to say something more when, with a FITZ a young man appeared, wearing a tweed jacket, a bow tie and a fez appeared, proclaimed "bow ties are cool!" and pressed a button on his Vortex Manipulator and disappeared again.

The Doctors stood still in shock for barely half a second until 6 muttered to 10 "see? We're going to be an idiot."

"I know the feeling" 10 muttered back "another idiot with no fashion sense. A fez. Really? Of all the headwear in all space and time and he chooses a fez. And he likes bow ties when everybody knows that ties are better. Much like a certain previous self of mine."

6 replied arrogantly and before long both were arguing again.

-10-10-10-10-10-10-10-10

-right. Done. The 11 Doctor is the one with the Vortex Manipulator (if you hadn't figured it out by now) and is sometime during The Big Bang.- if anyone wants me to write the same sort of story but with different Doctors in it just ask and tell me what Doctors and I'll write it.-


	3. TARDIS troubles

-I was watching The Doctors Wife and wondered what he would say to one of his younger selves, wrote a few lines of this and it turned into a (very) short story. 11 and 6 in a sort of argument.-

"what do you mean, the TARDIS knows best!?" the 6th incarnation of the Doctor asked his 11th incarnation. "you do realise the whole 'the TARDIS is a conscious being' mumbo jumbo is just a trick to impress the companions don't you? Or have I finally gone mad and started to believe myself?"

"Of course she's a conscious! She's also very sexy and helpful. Most of the time. She usually takes me where I should be! I. You. Whatever. Someone needs to make a dictionary of timey wimey words to use when you meet your self. You just don't appreciate her enough!"

"Next you'll be saying she was the one who stole us, not the other way around!"

"How didya guess?"

"what?!"


	4. Jellybaby?

Hello! I'm back! This has 10 and 4 in it! enjoy!

10-10-10-10-10-10-10-10-10-10

"Jellybaby?" the 4th Doctor asked his 10th self, grinning one of his wide grins and holding the paper bag of sweets out to his 10th self.

Oh! Hello! How am I?" 10 said and grinned back at his 4th self. He put his hand in the bag and pulled out a handful, to the annoyance of his predecessor.

"I'm good, how am I?" 4 replied.

"That's wonderful! I've just come back from Barcelona!"

"The city or the planet? I've always preferred the-"

"Planet! I remember! How's Sarah Jane and Harry? Or have they left? Is Leela traveling with you now? Or Romana? She was nice! I didn't like her much to begin with but she got better! Have you found the Key To Time yet? Beaten the Rotons? They were nasty!"

4 looked shocked. He had finally found someone who could talk more than he could, and it was irritating to say the least. He tried to get a word in edgewise but his future self ignored him and kept talking about someone called 'Romana'. probably someone he would travel with later. Didn't this clown of a future self care in the least about the Web Of Time? He tried to say so but his 10th self started talking about robots instead. Giving up on trying to get his future self to shut up he started checking his pockets until he found a roll of duck tape, which he pulled out and stuck a bit over 10's mouth.

10 glared at 4, who he had expected to be more fun to talk to than he actually was, and mumbling through the duck tape tried to pull it off, only succeeding in hurting himself. 4's grin widened and he looked at 10 triumphantly. "Right! I'm off to get some more jellybabies! The duck tape should come off in another century or two!"

4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4-4

Please review! If you have any suggestions of what doctors I should write next please tell me and/or what they should be discussing. Thanks for reading!


	5. Monopoly

Here's the next one! I managed to get in all the doctors this time :) please review.

1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1

The Doctors had tried to play monopoly. Arguably one of the worst ideas they'd had yet.

Five minutes in Eight had claimed the Time War was more interesting (less scary) and forfeited and left (ran out).

By ten minutes Eleven and Ten had eaten too many Jellybabies and become hyper. One had dragged them off outside to burn off some energy and forced Four to come with him because it was his fault.

At eleven minutes Three and Two had a shouting match because One wasn't there to stop them, and ended up in opposite corners of the room, glaring at the wall and pretending the other wasn't there.

In fifteen Five had turned on the T.V and was now watching the cricket while Six stole his money and property, and then kept skipping his turn.

As twenty minutes passed, Six and Nine were arguing over whose property they had landed on when Seven told them smugly he'd won and could do the math to prove it. After another shouting match (ended when One had stormed back into the room with Eleven, Ten, and Four in tow.) everyone in the room (who wasn't glaring at the wall) ended up watching the cricket with Five, occasionally interrupted by Ten and Eleven, who were discussing the best way to prevent Thursday afternoons having ever existed in the first place.


	6. Airplanes

**Hiya! Sharpie's back :) Seven and Nine mostly, with a bit of Eleven and a few others, hope you like! :)**

_It had all started when ten decided he wanted to try flying on an airplane to see what it would be like this incarnation. After a few moments of stunned silence Eleven decided to go, because he hadn't been on and airplane in _ages_ (his words). Four decided to go soon after, for reasons only known to himself. The one decided that they needed someone who is responsible to look after them. Naturally Seven was the first candidate, followed by Nine. Five refused flat-out to go and was replaced by Six, who tried to argue with one and ended up on a diet. At the last moment Five mysteriously changed his mind and swapped places with Six._

"Remind me why we're being put though this torture?"

"Because we're the oldest responsible incarnations and no one else would sit here" Seven sighed and moved a knight on the chessboard precariously balanced on the armrest between them.

"So why's he here?" Nine pointed to a very pale Five, sandwiched between Ten and Four, who were bouncing up and down in their seats, then moved a bishop and captured Seven's knight.

Seven moved his castle. "Because Ten wanted to sit next to him and Six bribed him with his new sonic screwdriver. Check, by the way." Nine glared at Seven's castle and moved his king.

"Six got a new sonic screwdriver? I don't remember that!"

"Do you think Six would really give Five a new screwdriver even if he did had one, which he doesn't."

Nine grinned "serves the pretty boy right!"

"We should give him some sleeping pills for those two"

"Nah, let him figure it out. How's Eleven going?"

Seven looked at Eleven, curled up on the seat hugging his fez and mumbling about eating fish fingers and custard flavored bow-ties. "I think he's still out" he said. "Checkmate."

Nine glared Seven and grumbled under his breath, then asked, "How long do we have left?"

"It's only been 10 minutes since the seatbelt sign went off. We've got another two hours to go." Seven answered.

Nine groaned and relaxed back into his seat. "two hours of this! No wonder Ten and Eleven are insane."

"Do you want another game of chess?"

"I've got nothing better to do."

**one and a half hours later**

"Checkmate."

"Again?"

"Your chess skills leave a lot to be desired"

Nine shrugged. "I haven't played in ages. How's Eleven going?"

Seven looked at Eleven warily. Eleven opened his eyes suddenly and Seven jumped. "He's awake!" He said urgently to Nine. Eleven sat up and tried to stretch, hitting Seven in the face by accident.

"How long have I been asleep?" he yawned. "Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Really? But it's been ages!"

"but you've been asleep."

"What should I do now?"

**five minutes later**

"Are we there yet?" Eleven asked for the twentieth time in the past five minutes.

"No! Quit asking me!" Seven replied.

"Really?"

"Yes!"

"But I'm bored!"

Nine sighed. "I've got a headache from you two now, so be quiet."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Are we there yet?"

"**NO**!"

"Shut up!"

"_fine_."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Do you want to pl-" seven said before eleven put his hand over seven's mouth to stop him talking.

"..."

"..."

"..."

Seven opened his mouth to talk

"_no_."

Seven closed his mouth.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"I'm bored!"

**after the plane has landed and everyone has collected their luggage**

"Did you have a nice trip?" Two asked Seven.

Seven burst into tears.

**Thankyou to all those who have reviewed, favorited and followed.**

**BloodLily16, you're welcome to use the idea, I look forward to reading it :)**


	7. The Three-legged Race

**Hi! Sorry I've been gone for ages. But I'm back now! :D hope you like it**

The seventh incarnation of The Doctor looked at his bickering incarnations lined up in pairs at the start line of the three-legged race. His third and fourth incarnations awkwardly discussing the advantages and disadvantages of UNIT, his fifth incarnation trying to look like he was listening to his tenth incarnation whilst getting as far away as he possible, his ninth incantation standing silently next to his eleventh with his arms crossed, and his eighth incarnation wrestling with his second over a recorder.

Seven turned to his first incarnation, who was chuckling quietly to himself, and said, rather reproachfully, "You do know this is going to end badly, and Six already hates Two enough over that Androgum business without you pairing Two with the only version of himself Six gets along with and is willing to listen too. There's going to be a worse argument than when Four tried to convince Eleven scarves are better than Bowties!" "of course!" said One cheerfully. Seven sighed "Right, are you going to start the race soon? I'm not sure how long Two and Eight can survive being tied together with their differences in favorite music, and suicide is not on my list of things to do today" "Patience! I'm just getting ready now!"

Seven wandered away from One and towards the dejected looking Six, a told him what One had said. By then Three and Four were discussing tactics, Five and Ten where chatting about cricket and holidays, Nine was standing the way he had for the past ten minutes while Eleven looked for something to do, and Eight and Two had stopped fighting over the recorder and were arguing over music instead.

"Ready!" One shouted though a megaphone. Everyone except Seven jumped at the sudden noise, and the eight participants picked themselves up off the ground grumpily as One shouted "Steady!" Eleven and Nine started running, but the other three pairs waited the three agonizing seconds before One shouted "GO!" in a maneuver that look as if they'd being practicing, Three and Four took off, rapidly gaining ground on Eleven and Nine. With slightly less grace, Five and Ten took off... In the wrong direction. Slightly late, Two and Eight took off slowly, and four steps in, fell over.

Halfway though the course, Three and Four passed Eleven and Nine. Nine yelled "Now!" at Eleven, who had, up until now, being solely concentrating on where he was putting his feet, promptly tripped over and sent them both crashing to the ground, along with Three and Four, whom Nine had managed to grab on the way down.

All four started trying to get up and stop the other three getting up at the same time and didn't notice Two and Eight inching their way towards the finishing line until Six gave a gigantic cheer as they finished. Startled out of their fighting, they looked up, saw they had lost, and started fighting again.

Once Two and Eight had won, it took all of Seven's considerable patience and diplomacy (manipulation) skills to get Three, Four, Eleven, and Nine to stop fighting and standing up, on his own because One was too busy chortling to himself and Six was irritating the winners.

After everyone had (more or less) stopped fighting One gave Two and Eight their prize (a bag of jelly babies that was stolen by Four) they all started to say good-bye. Seven headed off first, with just a quick nod to One and Six, followed by Two and Three, because Three's TARDIS wasn't working. One left after that, then Nine, who declared that if he bothered himself again he would find some way of marooning himself on Scaro. Then Eight realized he had left his TARDIS on another planet somewhere, and surprisingly Six offered to help him find it. Then Four left and Five dashed of after that, because he had left his TARDIS quite far away and it was getting dark, And finally Ten and Eleven left.

**Thank you guest for getting me to actually write something, I'll try to update quicker next time.**

**Reviews welcome! **


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